'My wife would drive herself, pay for half the gas [...] and miss 2 days of her part time job for only $50': Husband refuses to support wife's photography side hustle citing income loss

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jul 24, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Everyone is allowed to do the things that make them happy, even if they don't make any money. And that's usually the case, because the things that are the most enjoyable aren't usually the things that make the most money. Sometimes they don't make any money at all. But we all deserve to have hobbies. What are we expected to do, just clock out of our jobs, come home, and do nothing? No! 

Odds are you had creative, physical, or niche interests when you were a kid. You don't have to give them up just because you got older and have bills to pay. You might need to do them after you get home from work, but that's allowed. The important thing is that you have a network of people around you who support you and your dreams. It doesn't work as well with naysayers around. 

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  • 01

    AITA for not supporting my wife's side hustle?

    My wife has a part time job and a few side hustles, one of which is photography/social media for a singer. She gets $50 per show worked, but all shows up until this point have been within 20miles and on a weekend. This week, the singer has booked a mid-week gig
    via u/ManziePants
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10533199360
    via zibik

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • But one woman wasn't so lucky and found a naysayer in her husband. He failed to understand that sometimes you need to sacrifice a bit of time, and sometimes a bit of cash, if you want to pursue your interests. He couldn't separate the numbers from the joy. But not everyone saw it that way. Read on for details…

  • 03
    at a venue that's 400 miles away. So my wife would drive herself, pay for half the gas (one other band member wanted to ride with her), and miss 2 days of her part time job for only $50. Essentially we would be loosing income and paying out of pocket for her to work.
    via u/ManziePants
  • 04
    She states that we never discuss loss of income, gas cost, and vehicle wear & tear when we go on a family trip or vacation, but I said those are planned recreation and we're not going there to work so they are different. She's also afraid if she doesn't cover this show, he won't work with her in the future and this work is something she enjoys doing.
    via u/ManziePants
  • 05

    Commenters had different perspectives on this problem.

    • Jeepers Creepers74 22h ago NTA. Even for a gig 20 miles away, $50 is too low! The only reason I can see for your wife wanting to do this is that she's good friends with the singer, the out of town gig could be a big break for him, and your wife wants to
    via u/JeepersCreepers74
  • 06
    support her friend, but then she needs to admit this is an expensive vacation for her and not a work thing. If it's just worry that the singer would terminate her for not taking time off work or paying out of pocket to cover this event, she should just quit anyway, it's a horrible gig.
    via u/JeepersCreepers74
  • 07
    Cudi_buddy • 19h ago Seriously, what is the breakdown of gas/wear & tear on top of how many hours of work this is? $50 is nothing anymore.
    via u/Cudi_buddy
  • 08
    80-200
    via Keenan Barber

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    RoyallyOakie • 23h ago INFO...is it possible that she does this not because it's a job, but because she likes the experience of being part of show business?
    via u/RoyallyOakie
  • 10
    Maximum_Law801 - 18h ago The relevant question. Is this a 'job' or a 'hobby'. If wife sees it as a hobby she makes a small income on its different than if it's supposed to give additional income.
    via u/Maximum_Law801
  • 11
    BreqsCousin • 23h ago Would you feel better if she called it her hobby? Does it balance out to be self- funding? How much do you spend on hobbies?
    via u/BreqsCousin
  • 12
    ManziePants OP 22h ago . I think that would make a difference, but since she's getting paid and we'll owe taxes on this income at the end of the year I want it to be a net positive. It was somewhat balanced until this trip. Unsure how much I spend on hobbies.
    via u/ManziePants
  • 13
    Appropriate-Bar6993 - 19h ago Oh come on. Is it a 1099 or a fifty dollar bill? The Tax on $50 60. She's taking a trip for fun ok.
    via u/Appropriate-Bar6993
  • 14
    jillian512 22h ago NTA. It's not a side hustle, it's a hobby. He's not going to get anyone to replace her for $50 a gig. She can promote the gig on social media without attending. The most important part is promoting it beforehand so people show up.
    via u/jillian512
  • 15
    kswilson68 · 22h ago . Aren't side hustles supposed to make money instead of cost you money? If it costs. you money it's called a hobby, right? I know the meaning of words change over time ... like when I was a teenager saying "I got
    via u/kswilson68
  • 16
    home and crashed" meant you went to sleep, for my son 1. So I it means loosing his was wondering if side hustle means hobby now? (Yeah, I'm old and can't tell you how many sus yeeted words I've had to Google)
    via u/kswilson68
  • 17
    Long_Experience_... 22h ago . NTA - vacations/trips have a cost and the loss of income etc. are expected. She should renegotiate her pay for out of town work as $50 isn't enough compensation for the time to travel, food, etc etc etc.
    via u/Long_Experience_9377
  • 18
    This isn't about you not being supportive, it's about protecting her from being taken advantage of.
    via u/Long_Experience_9377
  • 19
    BigComfyCouch4 • 22h ago NTA. This is at least hundreds of dollars between expenses and lost income. Your wife is subsidizing this singer's business. At $50 a show, she's pretty much doing it for free when it's close. So it's less of a side hustle and more of a hobby. The amount of time and money spent on hobbies should be discussed when you're married.
    via u/BigComfyCouch4
  • 20
    Inconceivable76 · 22h ago NTA A side hustle is where you make money from doing something. A hobby is where you pay to do something. This is a hobby.
    via u/Inconceivable76
  • 21
    NectarineAny4897 • 22h ago Your wife has an expensive hobby. The earlier you accept that, the better.
    via u/NectarineAny4897
  • 22
    Mission-Tart-1731 22h ago . She's going to lose money. 400 miles in gas is going to be way more than the $50 she makes. She needs to talk to him like an adult and ask for more.
    via u/Mission-Tart-1731
  • 23
    . pottersquash • 22h ago those are planned recreation Compare with this work is something she enjoys doing. The issue your having is this is more hobby than hustle. For her, this is part planned
    via u/pottersquash
  • 24
    recreation. She probably enjoys the shows, and that she gets to recoup anything is a bonus. I once did stand up for a couple of years and yea if you averge it out whilst I was a "professional" comic I was really just paid for the trips, and all the live comedy I can get.
    via u/pottersquash
  • 25
    NAH. Hustle, hobby, w/e this is y'all gotta discuss it with the money side not really a determining factor.
    via u/pottersquash
  • 26
    cassowary32 • 22h ago NTA. Even for local shows, with transportation and time spent editing and posting, doesn't that come out to less that $10/hr? $50 might not even cover gas. And mid week? What other income is she giving up to go to the gig?
    via u/cassowary32
  • 27
    Even if you call it a hobby and not a side gig, 800 miles is a lot to travel for a single show that you've seen a bunch of times already.
    via u/cassowary32

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